I’ve always dreamed of being much more than I am. More organized, more disciplined, more loving…much more “much more,” if you know what I mean! Each January I set out on a new self-improvement program.

This year I’ll get in shape.
This year I’ll keep my house clean.
This year I’ll send out birthday cards. On time.
This year—really—I’ll be the loving, forgiving, obedient woman of God I long to be instead of the willful, stubborn, disobedient Christian I sometimes see staring back at me in the mirror.

All noble goals. And truth be told, I am much more at peace when my house is clean. And I believe that if you really love people, you ought to care enough to send the very best—or at least one of those ninety-nine-cent cards from Wal-Mart! And I know that genuine happiness only comes from living close to God and obeying Him. I really do want to be different. I want to be changed.

As the saying goes, “There’s a skinny woman inside me just struggling to get out.” Unfortunately—as the saying continues—“I can usually sedate her with four or five cupcakes.”1

Working toward these noble goals has left me with little more than a cupboard full of half-empty vitamin bottles, several pairs of slightly worn running shoes, and enough cleaning products to Lysol a small third-world country. Not to mention a shelf filled with dust-covered devotionals.

Is that true for you as well?

Maybe you’ve discovered, as I have, that most of your New Year’s resolutions have little effect on day-to-day life except to add a burden of guilt and a feeling of failure. Continually striving, yet never arriving. Hoping, praying to
be different, only waking up to find you’re not as far along as you’d hoped to be. Sometimes feeling like you’re right back where you started—again!

I know. I’ve felt that way too.

In fact it was one of those discouraging moments that prompted me to write this book.

LEARNING FROM MARY AND MARTHA
It all began about seven years ago, with two sisters I’d met in the Bible—Mary and Martha of Bethany.

As a pastor’s wife and—at the time—the mother of two almost-teenagers, my life was busy and often crazy. There was so much to do and so little time. Yet while I tended toward drivenness, my heart longed for intimacy with God. Maybe that’s why I was drawn to take a new look at the story that had intrigued me for years. Luke 10:38–42 reads:

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

After hearing several hundred sermons on these two women, I assumed the meaning was fairly straightforward. Mary was the heroine. Martha was the villain. And too much of the time I was Martha! I felt the Lord convicting me of my tendency to rush around, busy with “many things” while ignoring the “one thing” that was needed—to sit at Jesus’s feet.

But as I studied the rest of the sisters’ story in John 11 and 12, I discovered something so beautiful, so amazing, that I felt compelled to share it in a book. For I saw two women change before my eyes, both of them experiencing a holy makeover when they encountered the living Lord.

And so, six years ago, Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World: Finding Intimacy with God in the Busyness of Life was born.

Perhaps the most comforting thing I learned as I worked on that book was that none of us has it all together. Even on our best days and with our best intentions, we all eventually blow it. We start out operating in our gifts and
talents—excited to be serving the Messiah—only to have our efforts morph into a full-blown pity party when we don’t get enough help, or we aren’t appreciated, or someone else gets the attention we know we deserve.

But what stood out most to me was the fact that when Jesus scolded Martha about her busyness, He wasn’t condemning her efficiency and hard work or her can-do personality. He wasn’t telling her she had to be just like
Mary to please Him. Jesus simply didn’t want Martha to be so caught up in kitchen service forHim that she missed out on the joy of living-room intimacy with Him.

Jesus challenged Mary as well in John 11. When her brother, Lazarus, was sick and dying, Jesus waited two days before making His way to Bethany. By then, Lazarus was dead. And Mary, apparently paralyzed by grief, declined to go out to meet Jesus and stayed in the house instead. Later, she cried out her questions to Him. But while Jesus didn’t answer her, He felt her pain. The Bible tells us He wept.

Neither Mary nor Martha got what they expected from Jesus. Instead, they received much more. For God never withholds good except when He has something better to give. Whether it’s refusing more help in the kitchen or the miraculous healing of your brother, you can be sure Jesus knows what He’s doing when He says no to our earthly requests in order to say yes to His heavenly plan.

But these two sisters had to accept Christ’s better way—for it was a choice. Only as they humbled their hearts and learned from Him were they changed. Martha learned to be still and listen. Mary learned to pour out her heart as well as her expensive perfume in service. As they received Jesus’s teaching, they learned the balance between a soul at rest and a body in motion,2 between working for hard for Christ and sitting at His feet.

And I was learning right along with them. My Marthalike tendencies were being tempered by the tender grace of God. Because I no longer felt as if I had to earn the Father’s favor, I was finally able to enjoy His lavish love. Rather than striving, I was learning what John 15’s abiding in the vine really means. As a result, like Mary and Martha, I, too, was being changed.

I’m so glad we have a Savior who loves us just as we are, but loves us too much to leave us that way. After all, Christ’s main purpose is to return to us the glory of God we were meant to reflect in this world. As author Donna Partow puts it: “Our task here on earth is to show the world an accurate reflection of what God is like. To show them, through our lives, who God is.”3

In other words, the whole purpose of our holy makeover is to make us more and more like Jesus. But that divine transformation only happens as we choose to have a Mary spirit and accept the Lord’s rebuke. Even when it hurts.

BRICK WALLS AND LEARNING CURVES
After completing Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, I decided to take a six-month sabbatical. After being “spilled” out in my writing, I knew I needed time to be refilled.

I had no idea six months would turn into six years.

Not that they were barren years. No, far from that! During that time God taught me so much. He walked me through some valleys and up some mountaintops. I had the privilege of watching my son, John Michael, and my daughter, Jessica, grow up into wonderful young people. Then, three years ago, God surprised us with a baby we named Joshua—a truly unexpected blessing. Plus, our growing church purchased land, and we were finally ready to build our new facility—the one that had been years in the dreaming.

But it was that dream-coming-true that showed me just how far I still had to go. It also birthed this sequel. A book I didn’t know existed.

I was so certain I was on the right track with the church building project. As the daughter of a part-time contractor, I was familiar with the construction process. As plans progressed, I discovered in myself a vision and a passion I hadn’t felt in a long time.

With the official launch of our fund-raising just weeks away, I was running full tilt. There was so much to do—floor plans to finalize, brochures to design, numbers to crunch. I’d go to bed thinking about all the details and
wake up with a focused energy and purpose that propelled me through my to-do list and beyond. It felt wonderful to be doing something for the Lord..

My pastor husband, John, tried to warn me. “Honey, I think you need to slow down. You’re going to burn out.” Of course I should have listened. My husband, unlike me, is not inclined to give his opinion 24/7. I should have realized that God was trying to get my attention through my spiritual covering.

But I brushed away John’s concern.

Sure, this was a crazy time, I told myself. Getting a ball rolling takes a lot of effort. I’d slow down later.

I slowed down, all right. Brick walls have that effect on people.

The brick wall, in this case, was a lack of funding. We were unable to raise enough pledges to complete the project, and we felt strongly that we were not to borrow funds. Plans would have to be scaled back. So many dreams and ministries we’d envisioned launching would have to be downsized as well. I tried my best to hang on to the initial vision. My Martha fix-it mode kicked in, and I scrambled to come up with ways to still fulfill the dream. Butevery option I came up with was discarded and, to be honest, my insistence began to wear on people.

Finally, I had to admit that God must have other things in mind. The vibrant passion I’d had for the project began to dwindle as discouragement and disappointment flooded in to take its place.

“Why, God? I don’t understand,” I wailed. “I so wanted to do this right. What did I do wrong?”

In that moment this book was born.

THE MARTHA IN MEJoanna, I sensed the Lord whisper to my tired...